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DVD Profiler Unlimited RegistrantStar ContributorDoubleDownAgain
I see better with 'em on
Registered: March 13, 2007
Reputation: Great Rating
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Quoting Addicted2DVD:
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Quoting AESP_pres:
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Quoting CharlieM:
Quote:

Trust me, this is not about one individual.  There are a number of people that participate in the baiting and arguing in the forums.

+1
Exactly it isn't better to provoke one user because you want to see him banned.

agree

I also agree to a point.  I don't think anyone is trying to bait him to get him banned, as it's obvious that isn't going to happen.  I think many have grown tired of his antics and jump on him every chance they get, which I agree doesn't help matters but I can certainly understand their frustration.  Not excusing it mind you, but I do understand it.  It's also frustrating that nothing has been done about the problem.  The promise of a ban hammer coming into effect didn't play out.  I'm not sure if the apathy s due to not having enough resources to follow the forum close enough, if that is the case I'm sure there are some great members that would & could step in to help moderate the forums.
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DVD Profiler Unlimited RegistrantStar ContributorCharlieM
Registered Sept 5 2005
Registered: May 20, 2007
Reputation: High Rating
United States Posts: 2,934
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Quoting DoubleDownAgain:


Quote:
I agree with many of your points but I think you can respond to an attack without attacking back.  All I'm suggesting is that the site is moderated in an active and consistent manner.  Flagging it with red doesn't do any good so why even bother?  It will continue to be a problem, whether it's one user or many, until something is done about it.

If a system is in place to deal with it then both people should face the consequences of their actions regardless of who started it.


But the response in itself is the continuation of the argument.  And if a person is baiting, then if you respond, no matter what the response, then the bait worked.

So in all realism, if bad behavior is perceived, Kathy is right, just ignore the behavior.  If it is insulting, and no one responds, then it stops there with that thread.

So, yes, you may be able to respond, without a perceived attack or insult, but the response continues the problem.  That where the argument starts.

No excuses.

I know that this is difficult.  When YOU are insulted, sometimes it is difficult not to respond. 

On the other hand, when somebody else is insulted and "you" respond, are you any better.  This is where a lot of problems also come in.

Then there are the ones that try to hijack every thread for there personal points.  These also do not help.

SO... in all realism, how many of us can truly say that we are innocents.

Charlie
DVD Profiler Unlimited RegistrantStar ContributorWinston Smith
Don't be discommodious
Registered: March 13, 2007
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And you don't understand the target's frustration, DoubleDown. This for all the world reminds me of the The lost Boys in Hook....Bangarang. Certainlly NOT mature behavior.

I certainly will not claim to beinnocent, Charlie. But overall the behavior on the other side is way, way over the top. They, ALL of them, completely destroyed any credibility they might have had, the moment they started participating in threads of this nature and I am still surprised that ken allows it.
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Billy Video
 Last edited: by Winston Smith
DVD Profiler Unlimited RegistrantStar ContributorCharlieM
Registered Sept 5 2005
Registered: May 20, 2007
Reputation: High Rating
United States Posts: 2,934
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Quoting DoubleDownAgain:
Quote:

I also agree to a point.  I don't think anyone is trying to bait him to get him banned, as it's obvious that isn't going to happen.  I think many have grown tired of his antics and jump on him every chance they get, which I agree doesn't help matters but I can certainly understand their frustration.  Not excusing it mind you, but I do understand it.  It's also frustrating that nothing has been done about the problem.  The promise of a ban hammer coming into effect didn't play out.  I'm not sure if the apathy s due to not having enough resources to follow the forum close enough, if that is the case I'm sure there are some great members that would & could step in to help moderate the forums.


Baiting is trying to elicit a response.  You can bait, in hopes of getting bad behavior, or he can bait, trying to get you to respond.

If he baits, and you respond, then he has achieved his objective

If you bait and he responds then you achieve your objective.

Either of these,  if the bait is taken, then who is the foolish one.
DVD Profiler Desktop and Mobile RegistrantStar ContributorPantheon
Registered: March 14, 2007
Reputation: High Rating
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Quoting CharlieM:
Quote:
On the other hand, when somebody else is insulted and "you" respond, are you any better.


I actually agree with a lot of your post CharlieM...however, sometimes it's very difficult to stand back and watch other people taking a whupping just because it perpetuates an argument.

Too many people in the past have stood back and not 'rocked the boat' because they haven't wanted to become a target themselves. I know, I've been there!

But, surely there comes a time when everyone has to stand up to bullies; otherwise they just continue to bully and bully and bully.

Having said that, there is absolutely no excuse for resorting to name calling or baiting.
DVD Profiler Unlimited RegistrantAlien Redrum
Proudly blocked by liars.
Registered: August 23, 2008
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Quoting CharlieM:
Quote:
Quoting DoubleDownAgain:
Quote:
That is probably true, and everyone should be accountable for their own actions.  I'd agree that putting it all on one poster would be unfair and inaccurate.  But I'd say it'd be fair to say that a good portion of the problem lies with one user, I think many of the inflammatory posts are of others tie in directly or indirectly with the one user.  That isn't giving them a free pass as in the end everyone should be accountable for their own actions.  Unfortunately there doesn't seem to be any real repercussions for behaving poorly.  Just yesterday a poster violated the rules, and openly mocked them and all that happened was being told not to do it and the thread being closed.  Until the time there is a deterrent for this type of behavior it will continue to occur.  As it is now you can pretty much say anything you want and the worst that will happen is having your posts removed.  IMO the only way to fix the problem is to have a system in place to deal with unacceptable behavior, until such time things aren't going to change.  I've also read that they'd like a permanent ban which I also don't agree with.  You can't have zero discipline and then come down with something that dramatic.  Just have a system in place and the same rules for everyone and the forum would improve immediately.



But who do you discipline.  Obviously the original poster, but what about the people that went in and knowingly continued the bad behavior.

With my children, it does matter who started it, but if they all participate, then they all receive a punishment.  While you try to espouse one person, the people responding angrily, and continuing the discussion for 10 pages are just as guilty in my mind.

The problem that people have here, is they think that they must respond in kind to any perceived insult.  That response in itself is also bad behavior.

If you want it to stop, then you must also stop.  If you read a post that is, to you offensive, then flag it with red and don't respond in kind.  My mother used to say, "it takes 2 two Tango".  It is really hard to have a heated argument with yourself.

Charlie


I'm sorry, but I disagree with this.

I admit that I will not turn the other cheek when some jackass is belligerent (and in turn becoming a jackass myself ZOMG), but this punish all is crap.

Let's take the thread being mainly being discussed right now. Are you implying everyone who participated in that thread should be punished? Instead of being passive aggressive by punishing all, the person who is the root of the problem should be punished. That's the problem with the moderation now, it's too passive aggressive.

One person broke the rules. Everyone else expressed their opinion on this rule breaking. To punish them all is crap. Period.

If you specifically told one of your children not to do something, they did it anyway and your other kids told him or her to knock it off, you would punish all your kids?

That just doesn't make much sense to me.

I've had "Forum Moderator: Removed" edits on my posts, not for personal attacks, but for quotes or in response to something off topic. However, to someone who comes into the thread late will look at my post and say "Oh, he attacked someone" or "Oh, he had to be moderated." I honestly don't care if a post of mine is moderated, but FFS someone needs to step up to the plate and say why instead of this candyass blanket statement. Otherwise you have people who don't know what you wrote assuming things and confusion on what exactly you are allowed to say (although at this point, it seems obvious at least one person can do what they want with no repercussions).
Reviewer, HorrorTalk.com

"I also refuse to document CLT results and I pay my bills to avoid going to court." - Sam, keeping it real, yo.
 Last edited: by Alien Redrum
DVD Profiler Desktop and Mobile RegistrantStar ContributorPantheon
Registered: March 14, 2007
Reputation: High Rating
United Kingdom Posts: 1,819
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Quoting Prof. Kingsfield:
Quote:
I am still surprised that ken allows it.


Don't know why you should be. He's allowed a lot worse in the past (anyone remember the delightful Prop8 thread?!).

It's not really down to Ken to stop bad behaviour; it's down to the individuals in question...and as long as people here live by a "They started it, but I'm going to finish it" or "Someone messes with me they'll get what for!" attitude then things will never change.

I have learnt from lots of previous discussions that there are a lot of people here that I wouldn't put out if they were on fire....but that doesn't mean I would start calling them names or insulting them.

It's easy enough to participate in this forum without calling names or being sarcastic or facetious. Surely.
 Last edited: by Pantheon
DVD Profiler Unlimited RegistrantAlien Redrum
Proudly blocked by liars.
Registered: August 23, 2008
Reputation: High Rating
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Quoting Pantheon:
Quote:
Too many people in the past have stood back and not 'rocked the boat' because they haven't wanted to become a target themselves. I know, I've been there!

But, surely there comes a time when everyone has to stand up to bullies; otherwise they just continue to bully and bully and bully.


I wish I had held off until I saw your reply, but this is spot on.

There is a bully on this board and the majority of people know it.

Quote:
It's easy enough to participate in this forum without calling names or being sarcastic or facetious. Surely.


Of course it is. You see it on those rare times that some may be on a vacation, forced or otherwise. There's not one person that can convince me that it's not nicer on the boards when some people are out of town.
Reviewer, HorrorTalk.com

"I also refuse to document CLT results and I pay my bills to avoid going to court." - Sam, keeping it real, yo.
 Last edited: by Alien Redrum
DVD Profiler Unlimited RegistrantStar ContributorCharlieM
Registered Sept 5 2005
Registered: May 20, 2007
Reputation: High Rating
United States Posts: 2,934
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Quoting Pantheon:
Quote:
Quoting CharlieM:
Quote:
On the other hand, when somebody else is insulted and "you" respond, are you any better.


I actually agree with a lot of your post CharlieM...however, sometimes it's very difficult to stand back and watch other people taking a whupping just because it perpetuates an argument.

Too many people in the past have stood back and not 'rocked the boat' because they haven't wanted to become a target themselves. I know, I've been there!

But, surely there comes a time when everyone has to stand up to bullies; otherwise they just continue to bully and bully and bully.

Having said that, there is absolutely no excuse for resorting to name calling or baiting.


I do agree. And if the original one being insulted is actually participating, then I know that it is hard to  stand back.  Everybody must remember, these are posts from behind a keyboard.  It is a lot different then the perceived school yard bully, picking on the small guy.  If we all didn't stand up to that, then we do have problems.

But I also contend, that we must go back to the initial response. 

If I insult you (not that I would), within the forums, and you don't respond, but instead continue on with you original discussion (ignore me), then other people should not bother to respond.  You, the one insulted, have chosen your response, and that should be that.

If I insult you, and you choose to respond:
  First it should be to the point and short without insulting and without the perception of anger.  A single post. (this usually will irritate the inulter/baiter, for he is not getting the response that he wanted)

  Second, you should post right behind that, continuing on your original conversation, like the insult never happened.

In either case, you, chose the path of your response, and everybody else should adhere to that decision and continue on with the original conversation.

In either case, you should never continue the discussion past the first 2 posts.  It does work, even outside of these forums.

Charlie
DVD Profiler Unlimited RegistrantStar ContributorDoubleDownAgain
I see better with 'em on
Registered: March 13, 2007
Reputation: Great Rating
Canada Posts: 1,272
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Quoting Prof. Kingsfield:
Quote:
And you don't understand the target's frustration, DoubleDown. This for all the world reminds me of the The lost Boys in Hook....Bangarang. Certainlly NOT mature behavior.

I certainly will not claim to beinnocent, Charlie. But overall the behavior on the other side is way, way over the top. They, ALL of them, completely destroyed any credibility they might have had, the moment they started participating in threads of this nature and I am still surprised that ken allows it.


Well, at least you acknowledge that you yourself have behaved poorly. 

You seem to justify your actions by blaming others.  Did you ever consider these other people wouldn't respond to you if you didn't act inappropriately in the first place?  Why have they targeted you and only you Skip?  I do think there have been times you may have been unfairly attacked, but more often than not you were the one that started it.

I too am really surprised Ken allows it.  It shouldn't be allowed by anyone, not by you, me or anyone else.

You mention credibility.  I find it someone ironic that you say everyone else doesn't have it because they talk about it which is against forum rules.  But you are the same one that started a thread  which was against forum rules, and openly mocked it because you didn't agree with it.  Where is your credibility?
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DVD Profiler Unlimited RegistrantStar ContributorDoubleDownAgain
I see better with 'em on
Registered: March 13, 2007
Reputation: Great Rating
Canada Posts: 1,272
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Charlie, I do see your point about not responding.  But what I meant by responding is not to attack but simply state the you noticed the bad behavior, but the key is in the delivery.  I agree to do it without anger or stooping to his level, but ignoring it outright wil sometimes only result in him stepping up the bad behavior to try to illicit a response.
HDTV: 52" Toshiba Regza 52XV545U  AVR: Onkyo TR-707
Speakers: Paradigm Monitor 7 v6, CC-190 & Atom Monitors  Subwoofer: Definitive Technology ProSub 800
BD/DVD: Oppo BDP-93 (Region Free)  HD PVR: Motorola DXC3400 500GB w/ 1TB Expander
BD/DVD/Game: 250GB PS3 Slim DVD/Game: 250GB XBox 360 Elite Special Edition (Black) Game: Wii
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DVD Profiler Unlimited RegistrantStar ContributorWinston Smith
Don't be discommodious
Registered: March 13, 2007
United States Posts: 21,610
Posted:
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Quoting DoubleDownAgain:
Quote:
Quoting Prof. Kingsfield:
Quote:
And you don't understand the target's frustration, DoubleDown. This for all the world reminds me of the The lost Boys in Hook....Bangarang. Certainlly NOT mature behavior.

I certainly will not claim to beinnocent, Charlie. But overall the behavior on the other side is way, way over the top. They, ALL of them, completely destroyed any credibility they might have had, the moment they started participating in threads of this nature and I am still surprised that ken allows it.


Well, at least you acknowledge that you yourself have behaved poorly. 

You seem to justify your actions by blaming others.  Did you ever consider these other people wouldn't respond to you if you didn't act inappropriately in the first place?  Why have they targeted you and only you Skip?  I do think there have been times you may have been unfairly attacked, but more often than not you were the one that started it.

I too am really surprised Ken allows it.  It shouldn't be allowed by anyone, not by you, me or anyone else.

You mention credibility.  I find it someone ironic that you say everyone else doesn't have it because they talk about it which is against forum rules.  But you are the same one that started a thread  which was against forum rules, and openly mocked it because you didn't agree with it.  Where is your credibility?

Your viewpoint and you are entitled to it, Double and frankly you can keep it. You had absolutely no excuse for joining the rugby scrum, yet you felt you either had to or that you would get lost in fog of everyone else. Your behavior has been unacceptable and displaying exactly what you condemn...and then you dare to attack ME. Take a hike.

Look to your own house, before you begin pointing fingers...you aren't qualified.
ASSUME NOTHING!!!!!!
CBE, MBE, MoA and proud of it.
Outta here

Billy Video
 Last edited: by Winston Smith
DVD Profiler Unlimited RegistrantAlien Redrum
Proudly blocked by liars.
Registered: August 23, 2008
Reputation: High Rating
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Quoting CharlieM:
Quote:
Quoting Pantheon:
Quote:
Quoting CharlieM:
Quote:
On the other hand, when somebody else is insulted and "you" respond, are you any better.


I actually agree with a lot of your post CharlieM...however, sometimes it's very difficult to stand back and watch other people taking a whupping just because it perpetuates an argument.

Too many people in the past have stood back and not 'rocked the boat' because they haven't wanted to become a target themselves. I know, I've been there!

But, surely there comes a time when everyone has to stand up to bullies; otherwise they just continue to bully and bully and bully.

Having said that, there is absolutely no excuse for resorting to name calling or baiting.


I do agree. And if the original one being insulted is actually participating, then I know that it is hard to  stand back.  Everybody must remember, these are posts from behind a keyboard.  It is a lot different then the perceived school yard bully, picking on the small guy.  If we all didn't stand up to that, then we do have problems.

But I also contend, that we must go back to the initial response. 

If I insult you (not that I would), within the forums, and you don't respond, but instead continue on with you original discussion (ignore me), then other people should not bother to respond.  You, the one insulted, have chosen your response, and that should be that.

If I insult you, and you choose to respond:
  First it should be to the point and short without insulting and without the perception of anger.  A single post. (this usually will irritate the inulter/baiter, for he is not getting the response that he wanted)

  Second, you should post right behind that, continuing on your original conversation, like the insult never happened.

In either case, you, chose the path of your response, and everybody else should adhere to that decision and continue on with the original conversation.

In either case, you should never continue the discussion past the first 2 posts.  It does work, even outside of these forums.

Charlie


See, I can see your point there. But it's a little different because it's a public forum. If you insult me via PM and I ignore it, like you said, that's your response.

But if every other week you are insulting me or people I respect publicly, it really gets tiresome and people get tired of seeing it. Negativity breeds negativity. Plus, people who actually contributed something positive to this forum have left because of this nonsense.

If the moderators aren't going to care enough to do anything, I think it's absolutely up to the forum members to say, "Hey, this is wrong and the majority of us are tired of it now."

Believe me, I ignore a lot more than I respond to, but it truly does get old and every time someone leaves who actually brought something to the table besides vitriol, it sucks. And if the mods don't care that someone is getting called out, I personally like that members stepped up and said "Yo, not cool. Stop being a jerk." Then at least it shows the person getting called that people are supportive of them, even if the mods aren't.


I really feel bad for James. He gets called completely out, and NOTHING is done, even though there was a promise that there would be something done.

Like I said, I see your point (moreso now), but I don't agree that people should just lay down and allow one user to make the lives of others miserable. I don't like this "oh, just ignore him, it's just X being X" attitude because it excuses the behavior. The behavior should not be excused, and if someone is acting like a jackass, they should be called on it - preferably by the mods and if not the mod then his or her peers. Good God, I promise you and (mostly) everyone else reading, if I'm acting like a jackass, call me out on it. You will not get a red from me on it. Not all of you, though. Some of you are as big as jackasses as me.
Reviewer, HorrorTalk.com

"I also refuse to document CLT results and I pay my bills to avoid going to court." - Sam, keeping it real, yo.
DVD Profiler Unlimited RegistrantStar ContributorWinston Smith
Don't be discommodious
Registered: March 13, 2007
United States Posts: 21,610
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Alien:

I love the cries of innocence and the pointing of fingers at the bully, when  the bully are you and your colleagues. You aren't even worthy of bangarang. Maybe if you tried to change your behavior and your friends as well you might find things to be different. As for your feeling sorry for James, there's no need, James is a big boy, there are issues there which i will not go into, but that you are completely unaware, all i will say is that James is NOT the innocent that you think he is, but then you don't have the information, full and complete that would allow for valid judgement, anymore than you have that on me. I have ten years using Profiler and a LOT of water under the dam, and you know little of it, so you are not qualified to judge.
ASSUME NOTHING!!!!!!
CBE, MBE, MoA and proud of it.
Outta here

Billy Video
 Last edited: by Winston Smith
DVD Profiler Desktop and Mobile RegistrantStar ContributorPantheon
Registered: March 14, 2007
Reputation: High Rating
United Kingdom Posts: 1,819
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Quoting Prof. Kingsfield:
Quote:
Your viewpoint and you are entitled to it, Double and frankly you can keep it. You had absolutely no excuse for joining the rugby scrum, yet you felt you either had to or that you would get lost in fog of everyone else. Your behavior has been unacceptable and displaying exactly what you condemn...and then you dare to attack ME. Take a hike.

Look to your own house, before you begin pointing fingers...you aren't qualified.


To take this as an example.

The exact same sentiment could have been said without some of the more inflammatory content. By removing the bits I have put in bold it reduces the aggressive tone considerably:

Your viewpoint and you are entitled to it, Double and frankly you can keep it. You had absolutely no excuse for joining the rugby scrum, yet you felt you either had to or that you would get lost in fog of everyone else. Your behavior has been unacceptable and displaying exactly what you condemn...and then you dare to attack ME. Take a hike.

Look to your own house, before you begin pointing fingers...you aren't qualified.

The same message is put across without the need for sarcasm and insult. Self-censorship is the only way to improve things around here.

NOTE: Sorry Skip to use you as an example but it was a pretty good one. On the other hand, I've just given you a greenie in another thread for responding in a cool-headed, helpful and pleasant manner on a subject which I know really gets you annoyed. Kudos!
 Last edited: by Pantheon
DVD Profiler Unlimited RegistrantStar ContributorWinston Smith
Don't be discommodious
Registered: March 13, 2007
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Neill:

I am insulted myself, by the behavior that has been displayed by the user you refer to DoubleDown. He enters into a fray about which he knows next to nothing and proceeds to just start slamming. No, I am not going to moderate my tone for users such as him. I am direct and don't mince words, that has stood my in good stead for 60 years, my friend. My father taught me to hold my ground unless i am proven wrong, that has not happened, and i will hold my ground. There are people who deserve absolute condemnation but that is not me, I have been set upon by a simple minded pack of wolves and ultimately that is my view of them.

According to you insult is fine but you have to take it. No, I don't have to take it and I will NOT take it, from ANYONE.
ASSUME NOTHING!!!!!!
CBE, MBE, MoA and proud of it.
Outta here

Billy Video
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